FAQs Info History, Security & Privacy Information.

If you get the answering machine, please leave a message with your name, phone number, and why you're calling. Mike will return all calls that have anything to do with sales or service ASAP.

Existing customers will be better served if they also leave their e-mail address in the message, so we can look them up in the database to see what's going on.

If you do get the answering machine, then you may get a faster response by sending an e-mail also. Sometimes we have more internet service than phone service (or we're on the phone).

If you're selling something, then your call probably will not be returned (because there's little-to-nothing anyone has that we want. People trying to get us to hire them to buy their search engine optimization - don't even bother!). All of these people are and/or will be blocked by our magic privacy manager.

Please note that calling us to tell us that you ordered something, will not speed up product delivery. That's one of the highest priorities, so that's the very first thing we do when we can.

Why you're getting the "disconnected" message (or it just keeps ringing): In March, '09, a retarded health insurance company put our toll-free number on all of their health insurance cards, and passed them out to thousands of people. So for months, once an hour there was an annoying call about that.

Because of this nuisance, we use our nifty privacy manager (everybody should have at least one of these on their land line, as it allows total control over your phone, and will change your life for only $100!), and just blocked all of the area codes in northern CA from people that keep calling about their health insurance. So if you're calling from there, and get the "This phone is disconnected" message, or it just keeps ringing, then that's why.

The following area codes are blocked: 209, 408, 415, 510, 650, 707, 831, 916, and 925.

How to get around that if you're not calling from a blocked number, and you're in a banned area code in northern CA, is to e-mail us with your phone number, and we'll manually unblock it so you can get through.

We also have our privacy manager set up to block calls from all toll-free numbers, and all calls that show up on the caller ID as blocked/no name/private/anonymous/unavailable/no data/etc. This gets rid of most all phone solicitors.

So if you get "This number is disconnected," or it just keeps ringing, then that's why. Just call back from a number that's not blocked in any way. On normal land lines, try dialing *82 first, then dial our toll-free number. *82 unblocks numbers most of the time. If you can't unblock your number, or don't want to, just send e-mail with your number, and Mike will call you.

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