So as you can see, there is not one Real World scenario using actual values that result in the best option being "waiting because benefits go up."

Golden Handshake Calculator

This is for comparing annual cash flows and present values to decide if you should take your employer's "generous" buyout offer to get you to quit.

Just input basic data as the input fields ask for in cells B10 through B34, and then look at the bottom line in cell T21.

The area above T21 shows all of the present values of all of the annual cash flows. T21 just sums them all up for a bottom line.

If you don't like what numbers are automatically generated in a particular year, then just use the manual override to the right of that cell, and the number you input will be used instead.

Usually, the money coming in is a small pittance compared to the money lost, so it's your call whether or not this will be worth it to you or not.

If you bought support, then you can send it to us with your input and we'll look it over to ensure you did it right before you decide.

This Golden Handshake Calculator is the one and only employee benefit tool you can buy that will calculate the present value of a Golden Handshake offer from your employer. This is the awesome deal where they try to bribe you with an immediate huge lump sum payout to quit your job with minimum fuss, no lawsuits of any kind, and be permanently put out to pasture ASAP.

If you're wondering why their offer is so "generous," this money calculator will clear up that mystery in a New York minute. They've figured all of this out too beforehand, so they know getting you to quit voluntarily is the best way to get rid of you so they can hire "younger, cheaper, and more productive workers without benefits" (probably outsourced from China or India) to do your jobs for pennies on your dollar. All of this is AKA, "The race to the bottom."

Most naive people just see the huge lump sum and grab it before it "expires" (they're always going to put a deadline on it to get you to make a hasty bad decision by denying you the time needed to run the numbers).

With this calculator, now you can run the numbers and give them a decision an hour after buying it. News flash: If you can do that, and your answer is no, then you'll look like a "true loyal employee that loves their job and cares about the firm." When in reality you ran the numbers and saw what a pathetic joke their offer is! This will work in your favor, especially if you keep the real reasons to yourself. Then after everyone else bails, you may end up being the "big fish in a small pond." This sometimes leads to riches, or you could just be fired without any money or the proverbial gold watch.

News flash, they're offering you a Golden Handshake because it's the most pragmatic way to get rid of you ASAP. They know firing, laying off, and other terms used to get rid of employees causes too much hassle in legal bills, wasted time, reduced productivity (from you and everyone else sitting around whining in a pity party, when they should be working), and negative publicity associated with mass layoffs.

So Golden Handshakes are usually the best way to get someone to go quietly, happily, quickly and cheaply without the usual risks and fuss. They do it not because "they care," but because it costs them less money in the long-term and works the best out of all other options available.

Just so you know, in industries where this is happening, there's also usually going to be NO JOBS anywhere else after you quit either, so you're being permanently put out to pasture. If the employer knew you could just go across the street and get a better job, then they wouldn't be worried about you suing after a year when you realize you've been permanently put out to pasture. Go ahead and start "sending out resumes" ASAP, and you'll see soon enough - there's nowhere to go but the couch and TV after the Golden Handshake deal.

So if and when you do this, be prepared to be "unemployed" for the rest of your life, as this is usually the case (even in "good or normal times," which was a 20^th century thing and are definitely gone forever).

As soon as you get a Golden Handshake offer, check the "want ads" for your position (in any U.S. city), and you'll see there are none. It's not a mistake that there are no jobs in any print newspaper want ads. There's also no magic website that you just haven't found yet where all of the good jobs are listed. They're not hiding from you, there's just no jobs left on the planet unless you "know someone," or can move to communist China or India and work like prison slave labor for a penny an hour and no benefits. Even in a miserable places to live like Silicon Valley, where the media touts there's jobs a plenty, there's still no jobs. You'll see when you start reading the ads that unless you have experience using XmumbleFrats Version 2.15xa software (in other words, fresh experience with arcane tools that maybe two people alive have), they won't even interview you. Training new employee's that are capable of learning the job using XmumbleFrats Version 2.15xa software in a month, are also a 20^th century historical event. All of this is known as "the race to the bottom," and you'll do better by counting on all of this only getting worse as time goes on.

Also, since accepting a Golden Handshake is considered "voluntarily quitting or resigning" and NOT being fired or laid off, you will NOT be able to collect unemployment benefits - in any state, ever.

Use this money calculator to see exactly how expensive you are to your employer long-term. Prepare to be shocked both at your costs to them, and how much life will now cost you if you have to make your own way through it without a steady paycheck and/or employer benefits.

Stock Option Calculator